The next chapter in life has begun for me. And by "chapter," I think I really mean "suffering-of-a-hell-hole-life."
That sounds a bit sorrowful, but I've left one of the almost perfect summers to go back to school and into so much uncertainty. I really believe that if it weren't for the friends I have here, I would probably most assuredly leave. Yes, probably so. Oh well.
This summer was a great one. I learned so much. Maybe perhaps even too much. I enjoyed it, through and through, but I'm glad it's over. I needed a bit of a break.
I think the biggest thing I will take with me this summer is that I've learned that everybody is a person. Everybody is a human being with needs, stories, lives, and desires. Everyone is a person. I hope I don't take that for granted again.
Alright, I'm leaving my summer home. Maybe another one will come along, I dee kay, but for now I'm going back to http://www.abetterquestion.blogspot.com. Check it with me.
Thank you for coming with me this summer on my journey. Thank you for being such a loyal and great companion. You can take whatever you want from these blogs, but please remember to tell me when it changes your life for the better. I want to know what kind of things God does with you because of something He first started in me. Not as a pride thing, but as a God thing.
Thank you.
I'll see you back home.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
It's been a while
Okay, so it's been 12 days since my last post. Or about that many.
No retreat. We pushed it back a week to this weekend, and then we were only going to have 3 show up and two were going to have to leave half way through, so it got canceled. Can't say I'm glad, but can't say I'm not glad.
Suddenly, I have been filled with the desire to go back to Romania. Some part of me is suddenly longing to return there and I haven't the foggiest gumption of why.
If you'll excuse me, I'll put up more tomorrow night. Right now, I have to go make chocolate pudding in the porcelain mixing bowl of life.
No retreat. We pushed it back a week to this weekend, and then we were only going to have 3 show up and two were going to have to leave half way through, so it got canceled. Can't say I'm glad, but can't say I'm not glad.
Suddenly, I have been filled with the desire to go back to Romania. Some part of me is suddenly longing to return there and I haven't the foggiest gumption of why.
If you'll excuse me, I'll put up more tomorrow night. Right now, I have to go make chocolate pudding in the porcelain mixing bowl of life.
Monday, July 30, 2007
One Week
That used to be my favorite Bare Naked Ladies song. Well, come to think of it, since I really don't care for too much of their stuff aside from the music on that album -- Stunt -- it probably is one of my favorite BNL songs.
But as it applies to my life, I have one week, actually less than one week, to prepare for a youth retreat. I've been holding this idea in my head for a while now, however I didn't get it in gear until about a week ago. Sadly, yes, I was irresponsible and now I have given myself less than one week to prepare for a youth retreat weekend and I don't have good confirmation yet on the whos, whens, wheres, and hows. Yes, I am putting this together last minute, and not proud of it.
I'll probably put up more about the retreat after it's over, but for now I guess I can provide some background of where we've been and where we're headed.
At the beginning of the summer we went real heavy into studying Paul's view of the church as expressed in 1st Corinthians 12. We established that we are the Body of Christ, individually members of it, with Gifts of the Spirit that are to be used in building up the Body. That was my Mr. Potato Head illustration. I thought it was awesome, and I think los jovenes really responded to it well.
After we studied the Body, we moved into Ephesians chapter 4 and learned what the task of the church is. "to do [God's] work and build up the church...that we will be mature and full grown in the Lord, measuring up to the full stature of Christ...we will no longer be like children...becoming more and more in every way like Christ...so that the whole Body is healthy and growing and full of love." Something to that effect. This was really the springboard for my direction for the rest of summer. This passage was really loud to me for their sake and it was what we used to give us direction for everything we've covered up until now. My only regret is that I didn't discover this sooner and begin moving this way earlier.
On a personal note, this passage also changed my perception of the church. Radically. These verses gave me a perspective of vision and intentionality that I have seen too many churches missing during my short 19 years. It has inspired me to see the church as a Body that is always growing and always learning. It has taught me to see the church as a cell group from the larger Body, sent out into the world to bring others closer to "becoming more and more in every way like Christ." As I tried to digest this I began to understand that I have been given the keys to the Kingdom and I am here not to complete my story, but to complete my mission. And my mission is simple -- "to do [God's] work and build up the church...that [they] will be mature and full grown in the Lord, measuring up to the full stature of Christ...[they] will no longer be like children...becoming more and more in every way like Christ...so that the whole Body is healthy and growing and full of love."
After Ephesians I ran into a brick wall or inspiration and fumbled around trying to figure out what to do for two more weeks before I went to Romania. We covered relationships in two aspects -- intentional relationships of seeking out those who are hurting and speaking to them the Truth of Christ by showing them the Love of Christ; and secondly by learning how to live deeply with one another and treat our friends as if they were ourselves and loving one another always. Both messages carry great sentiment, however their teacher was very clumsy in his presentation and so I don't know how well it was recieved on their end.
After Romania we took a week off and moved into the past two weeks where we embodied everything we learned by looking at 1st Thessalonians 2. We talked about Paul's motivation for going to Thessalonica and what he did while there, and also about what kind of roles he filled in for the Christians of Thessalonica. We turned it around and applied it to every day life when I gave a bit of a testimony of what we did in Romania. I used the examples and words of Paul in his letter to demonstrate how practical and easy it is to love others and to go out on God's command.
This week, we will be dealing with the Kingom of God. I haven't made out my notes yet, but my inspiration comes from Kevin's sermon on the Lord's Prayer: "Your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven." We are to be bringing the people of Earth closer to the Kingdom of God. We can't actually bring the Kingdom of God to Earth, I don't believe, but we can bring others closer to it and to a deeper understanding and appreciation of it. That's where we'll be this Wednesday. I hope and aim to teach that we are sent out from the Kingdom on a mission to serve the Kingdom.
The retreat this weekend will be light, as far as teaching goes. I hope to talk about the early Christians in Acts 2:42-47. It'll be more like me delivering a sermon that trying to lead a bible study/discussio time, but I feel lead to do this so I'm hoping it will be well. The retreat will probably last from about 6/7ish Friday evening until mid-afternoon Saturday. Beyond this, I have no clue.
My friends, I hope this to be an excellent time of learning and fellowship.
But as it applies to my life, I have one week, actually less than one week, to prepare for a youth retreat. I've been holding this idea in my head for a while now, however I didn't get it in gear until about a week ago. Sadly, yes, I was irresponsible and now I have given myself less than one week to prepare for a youth retreat weekend and I don't have good confirmation yet on the whos, whens, wheres, and hows. Yes, I am putting this together last minute, and not proud of it.
I'll probably put up more about the retreat after it's over, but for now I guess I can provide some background of where we've been and where we're headed.
At the beginning of the summer we went real heavy into studying Paul's view of the church as expressed in 1st Corinthians 12. We established that we are the Body of Christ, individually members of it, with Gifts of the Spirit that are to be used in building up the Body. That was my Mr. Potato Head illustration. I thought it was awesome, and I think los jovenes really responded to it well.
After we studied the Body, we moved into Ephesians chapter 4 and learned what the task of the church is. "to do [God's] work and build up the church...that we will be mature and full grown in the Lord, measuring up to the full stature of Christ...we will no longer be like children...becoming more and more in every way like Christ...so that the whole Body is healthy and growing and full of love." Something to that effect. This was really the springboard for my direction for the rest of summer. This passage was really loud to me for their sake and it was what we used to give us direction for everything we've covered up until now. My only regret is that I didn't discover this sooner and begin moving this way earlier.
On a personal note, this passage also changed my perception of the church. Radically. These verses gave me a perspective of vision and intentionality that I have seen too many churches missing during my short 19 years. It has inspired me to see the church as a Body that is always growing and always learning. It has taught me to see the church as a cell group from the larger Body, sent out into the world to bring others closer to "becoming more and more in every way like Christ." As I tried to digest this I began to understand that I have been given the keys to the Kingdom and I am here not to complete my story, but to complete my mission. And my mission is simple -- "to do [God's] work and build up the church...that [they] will be mature and full grown in the Lord, measuring up to the full stature of Christ...[they] will no longer be like children...becoming more and more in every way like Christ...so that the whole Body is healthy and growing and full of love."
After Ephesians I ran into a brick wall or inspiration and fumbled around trying to figure out what to do for two more weeks before I went to Romania. We covered relationships in two aspects -- intentional relationships of seeking out those who are hurting and speaking to them the Truth of Christ by showing them the Love of Christ; and secondly by learning how to live deeply with one another and treat our friends as if they were ourselves and loving one another always. Both messages carry great sentiment, however their teacher was very clumsy in his presentation and so I don't know how well it was recieved on their end.
After Romania we took a week off and moved into the past two weeks where we embodied everything we learned by looking at 1st Thessalonians 2. We talked about Paul's motivation for going to Thessalonica and what he did while there, and also about what kind of roles he filled in for the Christians of Thessalonica. We turned it around and applied it to every day life when I gave a bit of a testimony of what we did in Romania. I used the examples and words of Paul in his letter to demonstrate how practical and easy it is to love others and to go out on God's command.
This week, we will be dealing with the Kingom of God. I haven't made out my notes yet, but my inspiration comes from Kevin's sermon on the Lord's Prayer: "Your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven." We are to be bringing the people of Earth closer to the Kingdom of God. We can't actually bring the Kingdom of God to Earth, I don't believe, but we can bring others closer to it and to a deeper understanding and appreciation of it. That's where we'll be this Wednesday. I hope and aim to teach that we are sent out from the Kingdom on a mission to serve the Kingdom.
The retreat this weekend will be light, as far as teaching goes. I hope to talk about the early Christians in Acts 2:42-47. It'll be more like me delivering a sermon that trying to lead a bible study/discussio time, but I feel lead to do this so I'm hoping it will be well. The retreat will probably last from about 6/7ish Friday evening until mid-afternoon Saturday. Beyond this, I have no clue.
My friends, I hope this to be an excellent time of learning and fellowship.
Monday, July 23, 2007
$43.05
Last week was a week of dramatic learning curves.
I had a major break through when it came to preparing for Wednesday Night bible study, then a sudden falling out with my concentration and focus. I was deeply inspired and impassioned to use what God had shown to me, and then I was drained of all creativity and fire.
I finally received payment for work I did long before Romania, only to give it away to afford myself a laptop for school. No word, however, on when I'll be paid from the first fence I did, almost two months ago.
Lunch with Kevin was good, and encouraging. He taught me a lot about ministry that was sitting in front of my very face the whole time I just couldn't see it. We decided that I would procede with planning a retreat for the youth, however no word yet from Anahi, my spanish counterpart this summer, on when and/or where it's going down.
I've also been learning a lot about my faith -- specifically mine -- and where to go from here. I've decided I would like to get a job somewhere as an intern for a church, but I don't know where that could be. I'm open to God's guidance, as I've been learning all summer, but I don't have a clue where that is right now.
I also have no money. That came to me just now as I glanced up at the title line. That's how much money's sitting in my checking account right now. I have two checks in my room -- one for $95 or something and the other for $600. But as I said earlier, I just bought a laptop for school so that big one is gone, and the $95 just about covers what I'll be giving back to Lifepoint and maybe a pair of flip-flops. I need a job. I need money, really, but I'd like a job, or at least some sort of employment.
Okay, I'm out. Sorry if you were expecting something awe-inspiring, but this is more like an update. And I've got some Harry Potter to be finishing.
I had a major break through when it came to preparing for Wednesday Night bible study, then a sudden falling out with my concentration and focus. I was deeply inspired and impassioned to use what God had shown to me, and then I was drained of all creativity and fire.
I finally received payment for work I did long before Romania, only to give it away to afford myself a laptop for school. No word, however, on when I'll be paid from the first fence I did, almost two months ago.
Lunch with Kevin was good, and encouraging. He taught me a lot about ministry that was sitting in front of my very face the whole time I just couldn't see it. We decided that I would procede with planning a retreat for the youth, however no word yet from Anahi, my spanish counterpart this summer, on when and/or where it's going down.
I've also been learning a lot about my faith -- specifically mine -- and where to go from here. I've decided I would like to get a job somewhere as an intern for a church, but I don't know where that could be. I'm open to God's guidance, as I've been learning all summer, but I don't have a clue where that is right now.
I also have no money. That came to me just now as I glanced up at the title line. That's how much money's sitting in my checking account right now. I have two checks in my room -- one for $95 or something and the other for $600. But as I said earlier, I just bought a laptop for school so that big one is gone, and the $95 just about covers what I'll be giving back to Lifepoint and maybe a pair of flip-flops. I need a job. I need money, really, but I'd like a job, or at least some sort of employment.
Okay, I'm out. Sorry if you were expecting something awe-inspiring, but this is more like an update. And I've got some Harry Potter to be finishing.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
A bigger bite...
So, here's a brief rundown of the trip.
SATURDAY, JUNE 30TH
Meet at Lifepoint building at Noon for a commissioning service
Leave to go to DFW
Flight to leave at 4, but didn't take off until after 6
Touchdown in Houston at IAH around 7:30
Leave Houston for CDG, Paris, France at 9:55 CST
Fly for 8 hours
SUNDAY, JULY 1ST
Land in Paris at CDG somewhere around Noon local time, I think
Take off a few hours later for OTP in Bucharest, Romania
Land at OTP in Bucharest in the evening, I think maybe somewhere in the 6 o'clock hour
Wait and Wait and Wait to find all our luggage
Leave the airport around 9ish, local time, and go to Soterius Tataru's house, pastor of AlfaOmega
Sit and talk and eat at the Tataru residence for HOURS; meet the Ungureanu family
MONDAY, JULY 2ND
Go to bed at 2 in the morning
11 AM, wake up and repack my stuff, eat breakfast
1 PM, leave to go to Camp Eli in Ojasca
3 PM (approx), wake up, travel the remaining 20 minutes to Camp Eli; get to the camp grounds; move in to my room
Around 8PM eat supper and prepare for worship at 9
Worship at 9, broken into our teams for the week, choose our team colors
TUESDAY, JULY3RD - SATURDAY, JULY 7TH
Midnight soccer up at the arena -- this was especially fun for me because I got to play and show them American style soccer
Go to bed around 2 or 3
10 AM, wake up, eat breakfast
11 AM, small groups
2 PM, lunch
3 PM (Tuesday only), 4:30 PM (Wednesday through Saturday) was recreation time and then free time until supper, at 7
7 PM, supper
9 PM, Worship
11PM/Midnight, Rec finals at the arena
SUNDAY, JULY 8TH
10 AM, breakfast
Noon, Worship, I'm pretty sure that was the time
2 PM, lunch
4 PM, load up the bus and go home
6ish PM-9PM, wander the streets of Bucharest trying to get everyone home
Somewhere after that I lost track of a distinct schedule, but we eventually went to this eating place in downtown Bucharest very similar to a Freebirds of Chipotle, except not as good as Freebirds
Sometime after that we all ended up at our respective host homes and crashed at our various times. For me, it was about 2 AM, Monday morning.
MONDAY, JULY 9TH
9:30 AM, wake up and eat breakfast
11 AM, go back to sleep
11:45, woken by Daria and Iulia, apparently it's time to go, so I get dressed and ready to go
About Noon:30 or something we catch a subway from one part of Bucharest to another and begin our trek all over Bucharest for that day. We visited some park that had replicas of different houses from different parts and eras of the Romanian country's history. Then we went to the palace and took a tour of that and then we ate lunch at a KFC, and then toured a mall.
After that we went to a cemetary of the heroes who lead the revolution against the communist regime 18 years ago, this Christmas. That was an experience I don't want to forget.
After that, we took a bus back to the other side of town, and went to the other mall in Bucharest and ate some dinner. I had McDonald's. In Romania. It was good.
Left the food court, went outside, and took lots of pictures with Cristi and Simona and exchanged emails with them. That was a fun time.
Back to Soterius' house to pack my stuff.
TUESDAY, JULY 10TH
Pack my junk, don't go to bed, stay up until 4 in the morning when the taxi arrives, pick up Courtney and her mother, and take a the taxi ride from hell on wheels to the airport.
6 AM, fly to CDG, Paris.
9 AM or 10 AM or something way too early, go through international customs and board our flight to Houston
Spend the next 10 and a half hours flying over Iceland, Greenland, Canada, and down the Mississippi River and then over Texas down to Houston
In Houston, I was detained by Homeland Secuirty because evidently I'm a terrorist. Not really, they were just looking for a guy with the same last name as mine, Payne, and they wanted to see if it was me or not.
Fly home to Dallas around 5 PM, get picked up by my dad, and go home.
Obviously, I lost quite a bit of my steam in the middle of writing this, but if you hung on to here, thanks. I'll put up something(s) with a little more content and meat later, but this is what I can do now. I will say that it was an extraordinary trip, and that I learned more than I ever thought possible. I will be eternally grateful to God for allowing me this experience.
1 Thessalonians 2:8
SATURDAY, JUNE 30TH
Meet at Lifepoint building at Noon for a commissioning service
Leave to go to DFW
Flight to leave at 4, but didn't take off until after 6
Touchdown in Houston at IAH around 7:30
Leave Houston for CDG, Paris, France at 9:55 CST
Fly for 8 hours
SUNDAY, JULY 1ST
Land in Paris at CDG somewhere around Noon local time, I think
Take off a few hours later for OTP in Bucharest, Romania
Land at OTP in Bucharest in the evening, I think maybe somewhere in the 6 o'clock hour
Wait and Wait and Wait to find all our luggage
Leave the airport around 9ish, local time, and go to Soterius Tataru's house, pastor of AlfaOmega
Sit and talk and eat at the Tataru residence for HOURS; meet the Ungureanu family
MONDAY, JULY 2ND
Go to bed at 2 in the morning
11 AM, wake up and repack my stuff, eat breakfast
1 PM, leave to go to Camp Eli in Ojasca
3 PM (approx), wake up, travel the remaining 20 minutes to Camp Eli; get to the camp grounds; move in to my room
Around 8PM eat supper and prepare for worship at 9
Worship at 9, broken into our teams for the week, choose our team colors
TUESDAY, JULY3RD - SATURDAY, JULY 7TH
Midnight soccer up at the arena -- this was especially fun for me because I got to play and show them American style soccer
Go to bed around 2 or 3
10 AM, wake up, eat breakfast
11 AM, small groups
2 PM, lunch
3 PM (Tuesday only), 4:30 PM (Wednesday through Saturday) was recreation time and then free time until supper, at 7
7 PM, supper
9 PM, Worship
11PM/Midnight, Rec finals at the arena
SUNDAY, JULY 8TH
10 AM, breakfast
Noon, Worship, I'm pretty sure that was the time
2 PM, lunch
4 PM, load up the bus and go home
6ish PM-9PM, wander the streets of Bucharest trying to get everyone home
Somewhere after that I lost track of a distinct schedule, but we eventually went to this eating place in downtown Bucharest very similar to a Freebirds of Chipotle, except not as good as Freebirds
Sometime after that we all ended up at our respective host homes and crashed at our various times. For me, it was about 2 AM, Monday morning.
MONDAY, JULY 9TH
9:30 AM, wake up and eat breakfast
11 AM, go back to sleep
11:45, woken by Daria and Iulia, apparently it's time to go, so I get dressed and ready to go
About Noon:30 or something we catch a subway from one part of Bucharest to another and begin our trek all over Bucharest for that day. We visited some park that had replicas of different houses from different parts and eras of the Romanian country's history. Then we went to the palace and took a tour of that and then we ate lunch at a KFC, and then toured a mall.
After that we went to a cemetary of the heroes who lead the revolution against the communist regime 18 years ago, this Christmas. That was an experience I don't want to forget.
After that, we took a bus back to the other side of town, and went to the other mall in Bucharest and ate some dinner. I had McDonald's. In Romania. It was good.
Left the food court, went outside, and took lots of pictures with Cristi and Simona and exchanged emails with them. That was a fun time.
Back to Soterius' house to pack my stuff.
TUESDAY, JULY 10TH
Pack my junk, don't go to bed, stay up until 4 in the morning when the taxi arrives, pick up Courtney and her mother, and take a the taxi ride from hell on wheels to the airport.
6 AM, fly to CDG, Paris.
9 AM or 10 AM or something way too early, go through international customs and board our flight to Houston
Spend the next 10 and a half hours flying over Iceland, Greenland, Canada, and down the Mississippi River and then over Texas down to Houston
In Houston, I was detained by Homeland Secuirty because evidently I'm a terrorist. Not really, they were just looking for a guy with the same last name as mine, Payne, and they wanted to see if it was me or not.
Fly home to Dallas around 5 PM, get picked up by my dad, and go home.
Obviously, I lost quite a bit of my steam in the middle of writing this, but if you hung on to here, thanks. I'll put up something(s) with a little more content and meat later, but this is what I can do now. I will say that it was an extraordinary trip, and that I learned more than I ever thought possible. I will be eternally grateful to God for allowing me this experience.
1 Thessalonians 2:8
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Romania, she's speaking to me
I think one of the most profound, or at least one of my most favorite, things I learned/discovered/realized/understood while away is that we're all in this together. We're all in this together.
America. Romania. Paris. Call me a communist, call me a heretic, call me a whatever, but we're all in this together. If we could learn to listen to and learn from each other, I think the world would be a much a better place.
America. Romania. Paris. Call me a communist, call me a heretic, call me a whatever, but we're all in this together. If we could learn to listen to and learn from each other, I think the world would be a much a better place.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Good Morning
I am going to Romania in a few short hours.
I hope to see all of you when I get back.
Wednesday Night was one part awesome, many parts fun, and too many parts frustrating. We talked about friends. That was goodness.
Kevin and I also talked about church yesterday. I'm beginning to become more RCC than I ever thought possible. I think it may have to do with the fact that I'm growing up missional in a world that's still fighting to hang on to what it's known and done for so many years.
I've got to go. I hope to have a good long conversation with somebody on the plane, or else Hayden Panetierre or somebody else freaking hott better be on the plane too because I'm not sure how I"m going to survive 13 hours on a plane.
Love you guys
I hope to see all of you when I get back.
Wednesday Night was one part awesome, many parts fun, and too many parts frustrating. We talked about friends. That was goodness.
Kevin and I also talked about church yesterday. I'm beginning to become more RCC than I ever thought possible. I think it may have to do with the fact that I'm growing up missional in a world that's still fighting to hang on to what it's known and done for so many years.
I've got to go. I hope to have a good long conversation with somebody on the plane, or else Hayden Panetierre or somebody else freaking hott better be on the plane too because I'm not sure how I"m going to survive 13 hours on a plane.
Love you guys
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Ephesians 4:11-16
I've called it "The Missional Message" in my mind. I've never actually spoken those words out loud, but I've had them bouncing around inside my head.
I've been struggling for a while, as you may have noticed, with where to go and where to take the youth. I want the work that I do to amount to something, but at the same time, I don't know what that something is. Well, now I think I might.
It came to me last week as I was mowing the yard. La Familia. I had no idea what it was, but at the same time it wasn't exactly mine so how could I? How does a father know another man's child? He doesn't, at first. Somebody has to teach him, break him in, let him see what the child is. That's how it was with me and La Familia, at first. La Familia is a ministry. It's a family. It's a group of people drawn together by common life experiences where they can learn to relate to one another and experience the love of God through His Son Jesus Christ in community. In a healthy and growing church community.
It's what I think God wants me to do with the youth I'm working with. It's what I think He is showing me so that I can begin to show the youth a way of loving God and loving others. It is a place where youth can be equipped "to do [God's] work and build up the church...that [they] will be mature and full grown in the Lord, measuring up to the full stature of Christ...[they] will no longer be like children...becoming more and more in every way like Christ...so that the whole Body is healthy and growing and full of love."
Really, what it's coming out to be is a Wednesday night bible study that can develop and grow into more, smaller Familias in time. It is the step before small groups. It is the transition period in between all that they know church to be right now, and what a small group can do for them in the future.
But before La Familia can be properly inaugurated, the -- the youth -- need to be shown the values of such a community where people can be drawn together. They need to see what measure of stature they'll be growing into and know what kind of truth and love is out there for them to give to the lost.
That's what I'm doing this summer. Preparing the way for La Familia.
I really wish I could write more, but I have got to go.
I've been struggling for a while, as you may have noticed, with where to go and where to take the youth. I want the work that I do to amount to something, but at the same time, I don't know what that something is. Well, now I think I might.
It came to me last week as I was mowing the yard. La Familia. I had no idea what it was, but at the same time it wasn't exactly mine so how could I? How does a father know another man's child? He doesn't, at first. Somebody has to teach him, break him in, let him see what the child is. That's how it was with me and La Familia, at first. La Familia is a ministry. It's a family. It's a group of people drawn together by common life experiences where they can learn to relate to one another and experience the love of God through His Son Jesus Christ in community. In a healthy and growing church community.
It's what I think God wants me to do with the youth I'm working with. It's what I think He is showing me so that I can begin to show the youth a way of loving God and loving others. It is a place where youth can be equipped "to do [God's] work and build up the church...that [they] will be mature and full grown in the Lord, measuring up to the full stature of Christ...[they] will no longer be like children...becoming more and more in every way like Christ...so that the whole Body is healthy and growing and full of love."
Really, what it's coming out to be is a Wednesday night bible study that can develop and grow into more, smaller Familias in time. It is the step before small groups. It is the transition period in between all that they know church to be right now, and what a small group can do for them in the future.
But before La Familia can be properly inaugurated, the -- the youth -- need to be shown the values of such a community where people can be drawn together. They need to see what measure of stature they'll be growing into and know what kind of truth and love is out there for them to give to the lost.
That's what I'm doing this summer. Preparing the way for La Familia.
I really wish I could write more, but I have got to go.
So I've got problems
Today is the day that shall be known as Dia de los Distractions.
I have been distracted all day long, and I needs to be leavin's in 'bout 'n hour. Somebody please pray for me.
Can I get an amen?
I promise to blog up last week and this when I get home. I needs to.
I have been distracted all day long, and I needs to be leavin's in 'bout 'n hour. Somebody please pray for me.
Can I get an amen?
I promise to blog up last week and this when I get home. I needs to.
Monday, June 18, 2007
So much to blog and so little energy with which to do it
If the week before last was the week of physical and emotional exhaustion, then last week was the week of spiritual and mental exhaustion.
I have much more to say on this matter, however my brain is fried. Actually, my head is still hurting from this morning.
What I can say is exciting things are to occur within my circle. Exciting things.
Martha, if you ever read this, I love you. Don't call during nap times.
Good bye
I have much more to say on this matter, however my brain is fried. Actually, my head is still hurting from this morning.
What I can say is exciting things are to occur within my circle. Exciting things.
Martha, if you ever read this, I love you. Don't call during nap times.
Good bye
Monday, June 11, 2007
A Further Explanation Might Be Due At This Time
Allow me to expand on the Christmas Tree (if you can't see it my prayers are with you) of words I posted...was it yesterday?
Wednesday Night I spoke about Spiritual Gifts. Mainly, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11. The more and more I prayed into it, and the more and more I allowed God to mold me and the message through His Spirit, the more and more I began to get out of what I was preparing.
"Now there are different kinds of Spiritual Gifts, but it is the same Holy Spirit who is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service in the church, but it is the same Lord we are serving. There are different ways God works in our lives, but it is the same God who does the work through all of us." 1 Corinthians 12:4-6 (NLT)
This sounds vaguely familiar if you sat in on last Wednesday's discussion. When you re-read the parts in purple, and then compare it to verse 13, the argument for unity in diversity really comes to the forefront. We see that though we may be "Jews or Greeks," and though there may be "different kinds of Spiritual Gifts/service/ways for God to work in our lives," it is God that unites us all in His Spirit.
Call me crazy, but I find the Apostle Paul to be outright crazy-smart. The rest of Wednesday Night was built around this theme and verse 7, "To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good (church)." (NOAB) The main charge of what I wanted to communicate was God manifests Himself in our lives in diverse ways through the power of the Holy Spirit, yet we are brought together by that Spirit and the manifestation in order to protect/preserve/expand the church -- or Kingdom, depending on your view.
It was good, at least, it was good for me.
Aside from this, I am struggling with my position. I feel like what I'm doing isn't really building into a part of a long-term vision. In fact, I've got about 2 months to the day left working with these kids. Add in the obvious that they're not exactly my culture and that I'm not actually a part of their church community and you find me at the state I'm in now. I'm not feeling as if what I'm doing is worth it. I am getting valuable training and experience that can be hard to get elsewhere -- even in Belton, of all places -- but it's really hard for me to get up every morning and have the burning desire to connect with the kids. I'm afraid that a month after I'm gone, most of what I'll have worked on over the summer will amount to a fun summer with a whiteboy who talked too much in their hearts and memories. The spanish church is supportive and excited about my presence and involvement with the youth, but I don't really know how much good I'm going to do.
In my opinion, if I were to honestly do some legitimate, lasting good for their family, I would need to take over teaching every Wednesday Night and Sunday Morning. Anahi, the pastor's daughter who has been serving as temporary "youth minister" for these kids, would take a passenger's seat to the summer's activities and I would devote most of my time with her to training her to cast a vision, develop a strategy to bring that vision to life, and then put it in action. However, that's not what's going on. Instead, I teach on Wednesday's and she on Sunday's, and our relationship is one of mutual status and respect. Works out fine, except it's kind of lazy, considering what I could be doing.
Don't get me wrong, I like that I have a good relationship with Anahi and that I'm getting to do as much as I am doing. The problem is that I'm starting to not feel content with the direction things are going and the effort I'm putting into it versus the projected returns I'm anticipating. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I should consider some sort of meeting with Anahi and explain to her the change of plan and put into practice something more like what I described above; or if I should just keep my mouth shut, teach a mediocre lesson, talk the talk, and get my paycheck at the end of the month; or pray that God helps me figure it out, because I don't really feel like it's working.
That aside, Sunday Morning was interesting, to say in the least. The youth completed a Spiritual Gift inventory from Aubrey Malphurs' book Maximizing Your Effectiveness. The results were incedibly thought provoking. I had somewhere in the neighborhood of 14 inventories turned in. There were 11 different gifts on the inventory, but the Top 5 were supposed to be the "Gift Cluster." There was a possible 5-25 points for every gift, depending on the answers given for various questions. So, if every youth had 25 points for one particular gift, the composite score of that gift for the group would be 350 (please note that this is not official according to Malphurs' book. I'm using my own method of adding all the scores for each different gift together. I made it up.), and the lowest it could score would be 0, if none had it (this is according their reported Gift Clusters).
The gift of Faith had a composite group score of 202. The lowest gift was Teacher, at 15. This caused me to wonder if gifts can be shaped by culture. Maturity is obvious, but I wonder if I gave the inventory to 14...forgive me "white" youth if the highest composite group score would be for another gift. Interesting thought for me.
The only thing else I have to add at this point is that I began my summer study on Greek last Thursday. My dad found out he had skin cancer (melanoma) Friday the 1st, and he had surgery to remove it on Thursday the 7th at Medical City Dallas. While we were waiting for his surgery time, he ran me through the basics of the Greek alphabet, the nature of dipthongs, breathing marks, and basic punctuation. I also made flash cards of the alphabet and practiced reading and pronouncing vocabulary words from the dictionary, starting with "Alpha." Pretty cool stuff. Daniel, if you're reading this, you're going to be so jealous.
Thanks for reading.
Wednesday Night I spoke about Spiritual Gifts. Mainly, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11. The more and more I prayed into it, and the more and more I allowed God to mold me and the message through His Spirit, the more and more I began to get out of what I was preparing.
"Now there are different kinds of Spiritual Gifts, but it is the same Holy Spirit who is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service in the church, but it is the same Lord we are serving. There are different ways God works in our lives, but it is the same God who does the work through all of us." 1 Corinthians 12:4-6 (NLT)
This sounds vaguely familiar if you sat in on last Wednesday's discussion. When you re-read the parts in purple, and then compare it to verse 13, the argument for unity in diversity really comes to the forefront. We see that though we may be "Jews or Greeks," and though there may be "different kinds of Spiritual Gifts/service/ways for God to work in our lives," it is God that unites us all in His Spirit.
Call me crazy, but I find the Apostle Paul to be outright crazy-smart. The rest of Wednesday Night was built around this theme and verse 7, "To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good (church)." (NOAB) The main charge of what I wanted to communicate was God manifests Himself in our lives in diverse ways through the power of the Holy Spirit, yet we are brought together by that Spirit and the manifestation in order to protect/preserve/expand the church -- or Kingdom, depending on your view.
It was good, at least, it was good for me.
Aside from this, I am struggling with my position. I feel like what I'm doing isn't really building into a part of a long-term vision. In fact, I've got about 2 months to the day left working with these kids. Add in the obvious that they're not exactly my culture and that I'm not actually a part of their church community and you find me at the state I'm in now. I'm not feeling as if what I'm doing is worth it. I am getting valuable training and experience that can be hard to get elsewhere -- even in Belton, of all places -- but it's really hard for me to get up every morning and have the burning desire to connect with the kids. I'm afraid that a month after I'm gone, most of what I'll have worked on over the summer will amount to a fun summer with a whiteboy who talked too much in their hearts and memories. The spanish church is supportive and excited about my presence and involvement with the youth, but I don't really know how much good I'm going to do.
In my opinion, if I were to honestly do some legitimate, lasting good for their family, I would need to take over teaching every Wednesday Night and Sunday Morning. Anahi, the pastor's daughter who has been serving as temporary "youth minister" for these kids, would take a passenger's seat to the summer's activities and I would devote most of my time with her to training her to cast a vision, develop a strategy to bring that vision to life, and then put it in action. However, that's not what's going on. Instead, I teach on Wednesday's and she on Sunday's, and our relationship is one of mutual status and respect. Works out fine, except it's kind of lazy, considering what I could be doing.
Don't get me wrong, I like that I have a good relationship with Anahi and that I'm getting to do as much as I am doing. The problem is that I'm starting to not feel content with the direction things are going and the effort I'm putting into it versus the projected returns I'm anticipating. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I should consider some sort of meeting with Anahi and explain to her the change of plan and put into practice something more like what I described above; or if I should just keep my mouth shut, teach a mediocre lesson, talk the talk, and get my paycheck at the end of the month; or pray that God helps me figure it out, because I don't really feel like it's working.
That aside, Sunday Morning was interesting, to say in the least. The youth completed a Spiritual Gift inventory from Aubrey Malphurs' book Maximizing Your Effectiveness. The results were incedibly thought provoking. I had somewhere in the neighborhood of 14 inventories turned in. There were 11 different gifts on the inventory, but the Top 5 were supposed to be the "Gift Cluster." There was a possible 5-25 points for every gift, depending on the answers given for various questions. So, if every youth had 25 points for one particular gift, the composite score of that gift for the group would be 350 (please note that this is not official according to Malphurs' book. I'm using my own method of adding all the scores for each different gift together. I made it up.), and the lowest it could score would be 0, if none had it (this is according their reported Gift Clusters).
The gift of Faith had a composite group score of 202. The lowest gift was Teacher, at 15. This caused me to wonder if gifts can be shaped by culture. Maturity is obvious, but I wonder if I gave the inventory to 14...forgive me "white" youth if the highest composite group score would be for another gift. Interesting thought for me.
The only thing else I have to add at this point is that I began my summer study on Greek last Thursday. My dad found out he had skin cancer (melanoma) Friday the 1st, and he had surgery to remove it on Thursday the 7th at Medical City Dallas. While we were waiting for his surgery time, he ran me through the basics of the Greek alphabet, the nature of dipthongs, breathing marks, and basic punctuation. I also made flash cards of the alphabet and practiced reading and pronouncing vocabulary words from the dictionary, starting with "Alpha." Pretty cool stuff. Daniel, if you're reading this, you're going to be so jealous.
Thanks for reading.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
The Longest Week Ever
Last week was just about the longest week ever, and, as it stands right now, I really don't feel like blogging.
Let's sum it up in a montage of words, okay?
Let's sum it up in a montage of words, okay?
The Dump
18 hr work week
Working with my people
$10 an hour and yet no payday
Manual Labor; Building Fences; Sunburn
Friends who aren't friends; and too many TMs
Skin Cancer; Melanoma, and the Longest Day of My Life
Spiritual Gifts, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11, 18; Community Building
traffic in downtown Dallas; Graduation; attractive girls at DBU; free Sonic
Mattie Billington and the girl whose angelic face possesses mi corazon; burnt soup
playing in a rigged volleyball game and showing them up; X-Men \/; Alber and Pettijohns
finding my family at Lifepoint; teaching Spanish Sunday School; Roger Landon Taylor
Spiritual Gifts; liking my Lifepoint family; Valie; Valentin and Geoffrey
sending Anna off on her first Missions Trip; Craig's List
trying to get my life back in gear; reading
Blogger and sleeping parents
Graffiti sucks
Popcorn
The End
Friday, June 1, 2007
This Week
This week we talked about the Body of Christ, and diversity in unity, and the necessity for both. The scripture passage we used is 1 Corinthians 12. Specifically, 12-14 and 18-20. Sunday they will be talking and learning about how the members of the Body work together. The scriptures passage is the same, except the verses are 14-26 or 27, I think.
The verse that kind of carries the theme for this series is 1 Corinthians 12:18, "But as it is, God aranged the members in the body, each one of them, as He chose."
This verse really speaks to me for a number of reasons. One, because I'm a bit intoxicated with the "post-modern persuasion," to put it...rather amusingly. This verse totally suggests, to me at least, the idea of a "post-modern church," shall we call it, in which God has so deliberately and delicately placed each character in the narrative of the church family exactly where he/she should be. To me, this verse affirms the individuality of each church and each church's mission, and at the same time bestows upon each church the love and favor of God.
I really love this verse. There have been a few that I have read over the years that have spoken to me louder than a screaming baby on a crowded plane, and this one does just that. I'm in love with it. The only thing I wish was here was some serious character application. You don't get a whole lot of that out of this verse, except the affirmation and charge that God has placed us in the church for a reason, and we should be fulfilling that reason.
Anyway, to move on.
Something I'm struggling with -- maybe I shouldn't say struggle, maybe, working through -- is the fact that I'm working entirely with an hispanic community. Some are Mexican, some Peruvian or Venezuelan (sp?), some maybe even Dominican or Honduran. Growing up in Midlothian as a sheltered little white boy that went to a sheltering little white church and now working entirely with hispanics takes me way out of my league. Way out of my culture.
At MHS, I naturally adopted the similar arrogant disrespect of the white students for most all hispanic students that also carried with it a hint of fear simply because their culture was foreign to our own. Simply, I didn't like them because I thought I was better, but I was scared of them because I didn't know them.
Being at Lifepoint now, however, is really pushing those perceptions. I'm having to learn to see past that arrogant disrespect and shallow fear, and see these kids as my friends and family and love them as that.
Today, I worked alongside two Mexican gentlemen who send all their money home to their family to support them so they can live. One of these gentlemen was telling me that school in Mexico is too expensive for him to afford, so he never went. He came to America to make money to send home. The other guy I was working with was 17. When I was 17 I was a jackass, to put it bluntly. I was a jackass to my family and myself, and I almost ruined my life. I spent too much time wasting time. I blew off school even when I could have been making straight As and be in the top of my class. This kid doesn't go to school. He goes and stands out by the post office every morning praying that he gets picked up so he can work and make money and help his family afford a life he may never get to have.
I really struggled today when my supervisor told me to do nothing and "Let them do it." Am I not getting paid just like them? Did I not agree to work for the exact same wages as they did? Am I something more of a human than they are? I seriously struggled with standing around today, watching them dig holes through solid rock and tear out fragments of concrete and then mix80 lb. bags of cement while I measured a string line, or checked to make sure a post was level.
All day my supervisor would talk to me and engage me in conversation. I know him, he knows my family, he's letting me work for him because I need a summer job. Not once did he talk to them. I don't say this to give fault or discredit to my supervisor because he is a good man. I bring this up because this is exactly how I've lived my life for the past 19 years. "Ignore them...let them do it...that's what they're getting paid to do." It breaks my heart to place myself in a position above the people of the spanish speaking community when all that I am doing this summer is see myself as one of them. I really cannot deal with the fact that I'm supposed to accept some sort of preference over them, and yet at the same time I'm loving them as they were my own friends and family, and I'm being paid to teach that we are equals, just like my friends and family.
I can't love the kids, and ignore the parents. God speaks spanish too, and God loves those who speak spanish just as much as He loves those of us who speak english. How can I care about the youth of the church, and yet ignore the men in the streets? This summer is breaking me of some seriously deep reservations and some pretty serious culture barriers I've held pretty firmly for far too long. These cultural barriers are too prevalent in all of society. I cannot sweat and dig and work alongside these gentlemen and teach students who are not so removed from these men's very status and position in life and still think of myself and percieve myself as worthy of "letting them do it." If these men can recieve God's love just as I do, then I should be just as willing to give just as much of myself to get the job done as they do.
The people of the spanish-speaking community are looking for love just as much as those who live in a different community. I am grateful and glad that I'm getting the opportunity to labor and love alongside the people that I have worked so hard to ignore and forget.
The verse that kind of carries the theme for this series is 1 Corinthians 12:18, "But as it is, God aranged the members in the body, each one of them, as He chose."
This verse really speaks to me for a number of reasons. One, because I'm a bit intoxicated with the "post-modern persuasion," to put it...rather amusingly. This verse totally suggests, to me at least, the idea of a "post-modern church," shall we call it, in which God has so deliberately and delicately placed each character in the narrative of the church family exactly where he/she should be. To me, this verse affirms the individuality of each church and each church's mission, and at the same time bestows upon each church the love and favor of God.
I really love this verse. There have been a few that I have read over the years that have spoken to me louder than a screaming baby on a crowded plane, and this one does just that. I'm in love with it. The only thing I wish was here was some serious character application. You don't get a whole lot of that out of this verse, except the affirmation and charge that God has placed us in the church for a reason, and we should be fulfilling that reason.
Anyway, to move on.
Something I'm struggling with -- maybe I shouldn't say struggle, maybe, working through -- is the fact that I'm working entirely with an hispanic community. Some are Mexican, some Peruvian or Venezuelan (sp?), some maybe even Dominican or Honduran. Growing up in Midlothian as a sheltered little white boy that went to a sheltering little white church and now working entirely with hispanics takes me way out of my league. Way out of my culture.
At MHS, I naturally adopted the similar arrogant disrespect of the white students for most all hispanic students that also carried with it a hint of fear simply because their culture was foreign to our own. Simply, I didn't like them because I thought I was better, but I was scared of them because I didn't know them.
Being at Lifepoint now, however, is really pushing those perceptions. I'm having to learn to see past that arrogant disrespect and shallow fear, and see these kids as my friends and family and love them as that.
Today, I worked alongside two Mexican gentlemen who send all their money home to their family to support them so they can live. One of these gentlemen was telling me that school in Mexico is too expensive for him to afford, so he never went. He came to America to make money to send home. The other guy I was working with was 17. When I was 17 I was a jackass, to put it bluntly. I was a jackass to my family and myself, and I almost ruined my life. I spent too much time wasting time. I blew off school even when I could have been making straight As and be in the top of my class. This kid doesn't go to school. He goes and stands out by the post office every morning praying that he gets picked up so he can work and make money and help his family afford a life he may never get to have.
I really struggled today when my supervisor told me to do nothing and "Let them do it." Am I not getting paid just like them? Did I not agree to work for the exact same wages as they did? Am I something more of a human than they are? I seriously struggled with standing around today, watching them dig holes through solid rock and tear out fragments of concrete and then mix80 lb. bags of cement while I measured a string line, or checked to make sure a post was level.
All day my supervisor would talk to me and engage me in conversation. I know him, he knows my family, he's letting me work for him because I need a summer job. Not once did he talk to them. I don't say this to give fault or discredit to my supervisor because he is a good man. I bring this up because this is exactly how I've lived my life for the past 19 years. "Ignore them...let them do it...that's what they're getting paid to do." It breaks my heart to place myself in a position above the people of the spanish speaking community when all that I am doing this summer is see myself as one of them. I really cannot deal with the fact that I'm supposed to accept some sort of preference over them, and yet at the same time I'm loving them as they were my own friends and family, and I'm being paid to teach that we are equals, just like my friends and family.
I can't love the kids, and ignore the parents. God speaks spanish too, and God loves those who speak spanish just as much as He loves those of us who speak english. How can I care about the youth of the church, and yet ignore the men in the streets? This summer is breaking me of some seriously deep reservations and some pretty serious culture barriers I've held pretty firmly for far too long. These cultural barriers are too prevalent in all of society. I cannot sweat and dig and work alongside these gentlemen and teach students who are not so removed from these men's very status and position in life and still think of myself and percieve myself as worthy of "letting them do it." If these men can recieve God's love just as I do, then I should be just as willing to give just as much of myself to get the job done as they do.
The people of the spanish-speaking community are looking for love just as much as those who live in a different community. I am grateful and glad that I'm getting the opportunity to labor and love alongside the people that I have worked so hard to ignore and forget.
God speaks Spanish too
I never realized that God spoke spanish until I saw Him speaking to His children in spanish.
If you're wondering what I'm talking about, allow me to explain.
I'm working as an intern for Lifepoint Church of Red Oak, Texas. Specifically, a youth intern. However, there aren't many youth within the Lifepoint body right now, so I now work with the youth of a spanish community church that happens to share the building with Lifepoint. I am the youth minister for approximately 16 hispanic youth-aged gals and guys for the summer.
This blog is about everything I learn, everything I encounter, everything I experience for the summer. I'm hoping to keep it updated as frequently as I can.
I'll put up a post later about the bible study we had Wednesday Night. I've got to get.
If you're wondering what I'm talking about, allow me to explain.
I'm working as an intern for Lifepoint Church of Red Oak, Texas. Specifically, a youth intern. However, there aren't many youth within the Lifepoint body right now, so I now work with the youth of a spanish community church that happens to share the building with Lifepoint. I am the youth minister for approximately 16 hispanic youth-aged gals and guys for the summer.
This blog is about everything I learn, everything I encounter, everything I experience for the summer. I'm hoping to keep it updated as frequently as I can.
I'll put up a post later about the bible study we had Wednesday Night. I've got to get.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
